Thankfully I've not suffered an asthma attack this time so my latest delve into the vast ocean of metal bands on MySpace.com has been done at more sensible time. My 3am brushings as in part one with the likes of Birdflesh and Bung didn't wake up the neighbours which is a relief in some respects and a shame in another.

One can't escape the power of MySpace. The ability to reach almost anyone in the world with an Internet connection is spellbinding. People from Italy or Japan can listen to your music, add them as your friend and give general support. Ok, it might be fleeting, but it was only 10 years ago when it was a big job trying to get anyone outside your hometown to listen to your demo tape (yes, tape, remember them?). The last thing on your mind was "I bet we'd go down a storm in Japan," it was more along the lines of "I hope we don't beat up the next time we play the Roebuck in Biddulph".

With 'the not so' Jammie Thomas being fined 109,000 for illegal downloading and file sharing and the CD buying public becoming more and more wary of the bullying music business, it is places like MySpace that enable you to legally listen to new music without the music industry and the radio telling what is good and should be in your collection. Let's not forget that for a 4 CD single the artist is lucky to see 50p of that, so why not let your fans download it off a MySpace page for free but push the t-shirts up a couple of quid? It is often you can happen upon a band's page with over 200,000 hits and half a million plays of their 4 track demo yet haven't got a recording contract. I'm slowly climbing on to my anti-record company soapbox here, but it's an indication that a band, if they work hard enough and write some quality tunes, can have a successful world-wide following without the aid of a record company behind them. This is how MySpace has help change the music business and for a musician, such as myself, it's warming to know that live music is still out there even though most towns/cities have eradicated it for trendy drinking establishments.

Here are some more of the best and the worst of MySpace Metal.

Rock in Mazey Place
For those bands who want to be adored by their parents, their parents friends, their parent's friend's friends and so on.
myspace.com/officialsweetinsanity
Sweet Insanity maybe a rubbish name for a band but they can pen a decent tune. Although hailing from Italy they are very American influenced, one listen to 'Conflict' suggests this. Perhaps lacking a cutting edge to make the big leagues but it certainly sounds better than a lot of music I get to review. Check out the orchestral break in 'Conflict', awesome.
myspace.com/theshemps
The Shemps are made up of Members of Indecision, The Stallions, Bugout Society, Millhouse, Mercy Killers, Chimpanzees, Hot Corn Girls, Junior High, Dick Army, Animal Crackers. I know them all well, I was gutted when the Hot Corn Girls
split up. If quirky rock is your thing then this would be a great place to stop off. Check out the keyboard solo in 'Flabbergasted' but don't check out their underpants, it's not nice.
myspace.com/chokingsusan
Somehow Choking Susan have more MySpace friends than actual site visits which is some feat and an indication that the band went an extensive buddy hunt. Either way it's feisty female led punk rock. Sadly the songs are pants and all sound the same. I reckon they'll be great live though.
myspace.com/secretcervix
New Jersey's Secret Cervix have to win today's best band name competition. Like Choking Susan they are a female fronted junk punk band but with a lorry load more attitude, check out Fetus if you don't believe me. Any band who puts down 'The A-Team' as an influence can't be all bad.


General Metal Maze Mayhem
Straight down the line metal, no more, no less.
myspace.com/marshalllawofficial
British metal veterans Marshall Law need your support and why? Because they're great and put many European metal bands to shame. Check out the above if you don't believe me. If they were Swedish they'd be huge by now...curse the British music industry. Check out Under The Hammer, it was one of my favourite songs as a kid.
myspace.com/concreteexplosion
Concrete Explosion have an aesthetically pleasing page and even though they sound raw around the edges there was some convincing metal on offer mainly in the song 'Survival of the Fittest'.
myspace.com/battlewitch
Perhaps one of those bands who will gig and gig and gig without much recognition but are worthy of so much more. Battle Witch are British and if that's not a reason to check them out then I don't know what is. Oh yeah, they also sing about Talismans and Wizards which is ok in my book.
myspace.com/stormental
Storm Mental from Brazil sound like a more metal version of Dream Theater less the keyboards. The music maybe a little all over the place but if you like Dream Theater then it could be worth giving these guys a listen, tidy site as well.
myspace.com/chaosgenesis
Oooh this sounds good, and British as well. What the hell is going on? Chaos Genesis is for fans of Biomechanical which can only be a good thing. Is the British metal scene finally picking up?


The Metal Experiment
The bands that have tried to experiment just a little bit where the norm just isn't normal.
myspace.com/castlemetal
Not a band as such, more of a project based around the PC Game Stronghold. It is labelled as Castle Metal and if the four tracks on offer are anything to go by I can't wait to hear the finished product. Apparently the band wrote to Firefly studios to get permission to use the sound FX from the game, the result is a metal feast with the odd ballista sound for good measure.
myspace.com/bubblemath
Usually, any band who describe themselves as 'Avant prog-pop jazzcore quintet' would have me running to the hills faster than a worried rambler being chased by 200 disgruntled farmers carrying shotguns. Bubblemath have 182311 views so far and 90,000 friends this is because they're quite brilliant, perhaps a band to keep with you at all times.
myspace.com/introspectionitaly
More Medieval Metal Madness with IntroSpection. A one-man musical project also heavily influenced by Stronghold. It loses a little with the absence of vocals but it's fun all the same.
myspace.com/7vials
If you ever wondered what "death metal drum and bass for the end of the world" sounds like then look no further. 7 Vials Of The Apocalypse seem to know and have cornered the death metal drum and bass market...so it's just them then. Some inventive ideas here however, and worth a listen if only the vocalist kept it to a minimum.
myspace.com/projectcreation
Project Creation are a bit of goth, a bit of folk, a bit of prog, a bit of rock all rolled into one. To its credit it's interesting and well put together. Think Lord of the Rings on a date with Epica.


Gothic and Electronic Dreams
Time to break out those synths, have some attractive girl wail for the audience and wear tight black leather pants....Mmmmmm.
myspace.com/psychonaut
Psychonaut75 waste everyone's time by churning out heavy electronic beats with nonsense talking and other quirks over the top for 7 minutes at a time. 10 for effort, (Psycho)nought for actual listenability.
myspace.com/deadgirlscorp
Dead Girls Corp are your usual gothic industrial fodder however compared to Death Stars they're much more likable, and yes you guessed it, they look like extras from 'Blade'.
myspace.com/circusofdeadsquirrels
I initially thought Circus Of Dead Squirrels were going to be a huge pile of shite, but I was pleasantly surprised how much of a credible yet quirky act they were. A little too industrial to be put in the experimental category as they offer a slightly different take on the usual heavy electro goth. Top track 8Bit Piece Of Shit
myspace.com/sensationsindex
It is said the devil has all the best tunes, well someone must have them because Sensations Index certainly haven't. This Colombian gothic rock is like a poor man's Sisters of Mercy Tribute Band. It is also at this point I realised that Metal Sanaz is almost everyone's friend. Does anyone know who she is? Answer to me at the usual address please.
myspace.com/maledia
I've just noticed there aren't any female fronted goth rock included in this section, so here is one of the better examples out there. Think After Forever and think of them a little bit more and you'll realise where Maledia are at.


The Extreme Zone
Comedy grindcore is always worth looking at even if it's just for the extreme imagery. Most bands have a huge friend base and an even bigger page hit count. Horses for courses as they say.
myspace.com/kuntvomit
If you thought Maggot Twat was an offensive band name then check out Kunt Vomit. Their profile picture is of Steve Irwin with a cartoon cock jizzing all over an alligator in a Christmas hat. What do you mean you don't believe me? It's crocodile raping grind from the UK, or Hucknall to be precise. I couldn't get any of the tracks to work but if you can then let me know. It's worth visiting just for their main picture.
myspace.com/ghostsoflemuria
Perhaps trying a little to hard to be 'epic', Ghosts Of Lemuria play black metal with folk influences. An odd combination you may think and in reality it is. To hear pan pipes over growling and a metal attack is quite an experience, but the production is quite poor. I think the band have something though, I'm not sure what it is, but I listened to all 4 tracks on their site.
myspace.com/evisceratedzombietampon
Ok, this is just getting silly now. Tampa's Eviscerated Zombie Tampon well...their mantle says it all really.
myspace.com/bloodysemen
Just to prove that Venezuela can also create a heap of dogshit, Bloody Semen try to prove that it's big and clever to be truly awful. This site is not to visited if you are easily offended, 'Anal Annihilation' is accompanied with a picture. This sort of music gives metal a bad name, but hey! That's MySpace for you, a freedom of expression.
myspace.com/screamingafterbirth
"What's the name of your band, son?"
"Screaming Afterbirth, mum."
"That's nice dear."
Honestly, you can't make it up, but you can't deny their 65000+ plays. I was going to include Fucksaw but that was a band too far.


The Odd Place
Although some of these aren't entirely metal they're bands I've chanced upon on my journey. They're worth having a look at due to their inventiveness and sheer catchiness.
myspace.com/thedeodates
Salford's own two-piece, although one listen to Before The Bench and you'd think they consisted of a gang of five. Great musicianship and super catchy riffage. Excellent.
myspace.com/ thisisthechristophers
More Indie than Metal but cool nonetheless. The Christophers are another North West two-piece and any one with a liking for Ian Dury, New Romantic and any Stiff Recordings should check this band out. What's the matter Alison?
myspace.com/spiraling
Quirky pop/punk/indie from New Jersey. Spiraling have a good image and look to the site. If you're after something slightly different this could be worth a visit.
myspace.com/dannycurwen
Nothing to do with metal but a free, shameless plug for my friend Danny Curwen. A talented chap and good mellow out if the above links have taken it out of you. Check out 'Cracking From The Inside'.


There you have it for Part 2. I hope it's not been too bad and you found something that has sparked your interest. Picking my favourites it has to be Stronghold and BubbleMath, but you could spend a whole evening sifting through the grindcore bands, they're insane! All of them!

If you have a band you want plugging for Part 3 then let me know, pete.worral@roomthirteen.com