The world's most dangerous band, The Dwarves, were arrested in Switzerland on Wednesday March 16th. What should have been a routine passport check at the German/Swiss border to enter non-EC and supposedly neutral Switzerland ended in a serious confrontation followed by arrests at gunpoint. When seeing the Dwarves emerge from their tour bus, the Swiss border police decided to do a thorough search of the bus and instantly took offence to the artwork of the Dwarves current album, "The Dwarves Must Die". The cover shows a real dwarf nailed to a wooden cross surrounded by three grieving ladies, who just happen to be naked. Already fuming at the blasphemous cover, upon further inspection they were horrified to
see the inside artwork. The border police decided to confiscate all the CD's and Dwarves merchandise. This sparked a furious debate which erupted into an almost violent confrontation. Dwarves front man Blag Dahlia aka Blag The Ripper said "I say almost violent. It would have been a real bloody battle had the fuckers not pulled guns on us!"
The band were handcuffed at gunpoint and subjected to a full cavity search to debase and humiliate them. Guitar terrorist HeWhocannotbenamed was not fazed by this, "The funny thing was they interrupted my poop session, I never got a chance to wipe. I think they came away with more than they bargained for!"
After being held for 4 hours, the band were fined 5000 Euros (£3500) and
allowed to leave with their merchandise, though they were not allowed into Switzerland. They had to cancel their show that night and drive back into Germany. Blag stated "We've been banned for the so called neutral
country of Switzerland. Fuck'em. They had a good yodel up our assholes
which resulted in HeWho giving them some swiss chocolate. We're sorry
for the fans that won't get to see us, but in a very strange way, we're
actually glad to be going back to Germany.
The Dwarves are continuing their European tour and will be playing the
UK from this weekend, so be afraid, be very afraid.
The Dwarves Must Die album has already caused controversy. Late last year Blag was attacked with a bottle at a show in the US as a result of the contents. The Dwarves Must Die is available now on Greedy/Sympathy For The Record Industry.
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