Interview with The Aquabats

R13: How's the tour going? How's the punky madness going down with the crowds over here?
MCBC: The punky madness, sounds like a new band - like a Madness tribute band.
CMcL: It's like Madness, except a punky version
MCBC: The punky madness, it's quite nutty. Nah, it's been really fun. It's been great, our first time over here, myself and Crash McLarson. Fish and chips, pie and mash - what more could you ask for? Maybe a little money that would be good.
R13: Good crowds?
MCBC: Good crowds, that's there already. Now if only we could make a living doing this thing, we'd be ok. Send your donations to...
R13: You're enjoying playing the UK then?
MCBC: Oh yeah, very much so.
CMcL: Best time in the UK.
MCBC: Yeah, best time we've ever been to the UK. Only time we've ever been to the UK - the UK is OK.
R13: And how's the new stuff going down? Because 'Charge!' hasn't been out that long over here.
MCBC: Yeah, I think it's going good. What do you say Crash?
CMcL: Yeah it seems the kids love it. They like it a lot, and they know a lot of the words. Like when we play, they sing along - well some of them do. Some of them act like they know the words and that's OK too - they're showing an effort.

R13: Moving on a bit, is there any genre of music you won't pilfer for inspiration?
MCBC: Nope, I don't think there's anything we would hold back from pilfering.
CMcL: I mean we're inspired by it all.
MCBC: I mean, we're like the Dandy Highwaymen of music - whatever coach rides by, we'll take our cutlasses out and ask them to stand and deliver. There's some music that we particularly don't like, but we like to pilfer it just to pilfer it anyway.
R13: What particular genre don't you like, that you would love to pinch?
MCBC: Um, I don't know. I'm not a huge country music fan
CMcL: The nu-skool, I don't like the nu skool country. You know, it's hard to say because in all genres of music there's stuff I like and there's stuff I hate. There's country music that like makes me want to cut my head off, but then there's country music that I like.
MCBC: Yeah, there's Hank Williams, Johnny Cash, Dolly Parton.
CMcL: Even in rap metal there's so many great many rap metal bands, it's hard to hate.
R13: Like?
MCBC: I mean, rap metal's a phenomenon that's fortunately in its latter stages, it's on its death bed maybe. But there were still a couple of songs out of it that were really good - some of the Limp Bizkit songs were good, some of the Korn songs were good.
CMcL: I mean, System of a Down you can't get over some of those catchy hooks. Sugar! I don't even know what the song's about [he goes off into a mad impersonation of Serj Tankian].
R13: It's all a bit of pick n mix then?
MCBC: Yeah, you see, the other bands might listen to the Aquabats and think "that song's OK" or they might think it's all rubbish. Or, they might think we're the best band in the world - which most people do (maybe). I think you have to do more with finding what's good out of everything, rather than just squaring things off, which is one thing that I like about the UK - it seems like the people here are looking for the good in all aspects of music and saying 'oh, this band's good, but this band's not so good'. Whereas maybe in America, if it's not one certain style, y'know if you're into rap metal you can't listen to rnb, if you're into hip hop you can't listen to country music.
CMcL: We mix up our styles when we play, unless it's already been done like rap metal.
MCBC: Someone's already proven it can work, right. Kid Rock was mixing country and rap, before that people would've booed him off the stage, and in fact we've played shows with him before where people did boo him off stage. But then he proved it can be done, and MTV proved that it can be done. Bam! They're geniuses.

R13: And what's the secret of your music? What makes the Aquabats the band they are?
MCBC: Probably hair, our hair styles. Like underneath our costumes-
CMcL: Big influence. Like the music today, you look at the bands, the most important thing about them isn't necessarily their music or the way they dress. It's their hair; they take care of their hair.
MCBC: It's trashy, but if you've got good hair you can still be a rock star.
R13: Indeed, many a band have made their fortune on a good haircut.
CMcL: Exactly, what if Poison had been four bald guys?

R13: And have you ever had bands trying to rip you off? Cos there are a lot of bands with a not so much a gimmick, but a certain image.
CMcL: Maroon 5?
MCBC: Yeah, Maroon 5 rips us off all the time. There was this band called N*Sync they used to rip us off all the time. We had this whole choreography thing going - five guys, choreography and then suddenly bam! Where did that come from? But you can't really claim originality in music anymore because even the whole new wave of bands coming out now that have a buzz about them like Bloc Party or Franz Ferdinand, or all these new hyped bands, the new rock sound - it's all just regurgitated from the late seventies anyway. Which is cool, I love that music, I like Bloc Party and Franz Ferdinand, and we're influenced by bands obviously like Devo and Oigo Boigo, even the Tubes, so everyone has influences.
So if we see someone that might have borrowed influence from us, it's more flattering, than a case of them ripping us off. It means they like it, and everyone's ripping everyone off essentially. It's just how blatantly you do it, and the geniuses - quote unquote geniuses, I don't want to say - are the ones that are able to disguise what they ripped off. Like the Strokes, you know you've heard their songs before but you just don't know where. Is that Tom Petty or the Cure, or the Rolling Stones, Television, who? Ah, it's The Strokes - they're geniuses.
CMcL: It all goes down to hairstyles.
MCBC: Yeah, it hair from there on down. I mean where did they get their hairstyles from? Bob Dylan? Is that Tom Verlaine? Is it Tom Waites? Ralph Machio? The Karate Kid? You never know, where did they get it? Steve Gutenberg?

R13: And if Travis came back, would you let him play?
MCBC: Sure, but he'd have to pay us - we want a cut, a finder's fee. You'd figure that they'd at least a finder's fee.
R13: Well, you did discover him.
MCBC: Yeah, we discovered him, not Blink speaking of ripping people off - send us a cheque, mate [cue much laughter]. Just kidding, Travis was a rad guy, a good drummer...
R13: He went from you guys, to Blink, to the Transplants, it's quite a variety.
MCBC: Yeah, but even when Travis was playing with us, he was either playing hip hop or punk and when the Transplants came out, to me and Crash, that made more sense to us than him playing in Blink. It was like, that's what Travis is really like - the Transplants style is kind of like punk hip hop. The pop punk stuff, he played it but he personally wasn't that into it.
R13: And the same goes for Rob Aston, also of the Transplants, would you let him play?
MCBC: [turns to Crash] What do you reckon, if he wanted to play with us would you let him play with us?
CMcL: No, he hasn't got enough hair.
MCBC: We've already got a bald guy-
CMcL: We can only have one bald guy.
MCBC: Yeah, he might get all moody on us and go all grizzly on us like [does a fair impression of a grizzly bear]. It would be like scary.
R13: A new rule, then? One skinhead per band.
MCBC: Yeah, if Crash and Skinhead Rob wanted to like box, or to have an ultimate fighting championship between them then we could decide.
CMcL: One of us would have to go, whoever lost would have to go. It would be him.
MCBC: Crash can't lose, he's like Rudi can't sail, Crash can't lose.

R13: Excellent stuff, now, who's the most overrated superhero, do you reckon?
MCBC: Er, that's a good question, I guess.
CMcL: Exact Change Man?
MCBC: Nah, he's pretty cool actually. He's pretty quick, quick on the draw. I dunno, that's a good question. Probably it's easy, but I'd say Superman. Everyone wants his powers but he just has no personality. He has the best powers but no personality.
CMcL: But, I mean it's hard to knock Superman. The man can bounce frigging bullets off his chest, who cares if he doesn't have personality?
MCBC: Yeah, I guess you're right. David Beckham, he's the most overrated superhero. When he wins the world cup, then we'll see, know what I mean. Yeah he sucks - don't get me wrong, he's good, but he's overrated.
R13: Oh yes, the boy can pass the ball, but he can't dribble.
MCBC: That's right, and he can't win the world cup. And he just got red carded the other day, and he cheated on his wife - what a loser.
R13: Ah, I don't know if I believe it or not.
MCBC: Well, if you're going to get married you've got to keep your guard up. Fight for your right for having a wife, you've got to fight for your wife to party. Or something like that.
R13: And the funniest?
MCBC: Probably Leo Gallagher, the guy smashes watermelons on stage, he's hilarious. He'll take like a soup can, and just go bam! Hilarious.
CMcL: I could watch it for days
MCBC: You know, I used to think I was the funniest superhero, but those days are over.
R13: And why are those days over?
MCBC: Well, my self-esteem's gone out the window since I gained weight. I really don't feel funny.
CMcL: But it adds to the comedy, most guys you see that are funny are just fat. Skinny guys aren't that funny. Who's the funny guy at the party? The fat guy.
MCBC: Alright, I'm gonna fuel up on pizza before the show then.

R13: Excellent, and on a similar theme, if you could feature in your own video game, what would it's theme be? What would it be called?
MCBC: What, if we had our own video game?
R13: Yep.
MCBC: It would be like, let's clean up this world, Eco Challenge. Like we go into countries all over the world, and clean up trash.
CMcL: Or it could be five guys just getting fatter and fatter. See how fat you can get.
MCBC: It'd be like a multi challenge. It'd be the fat challenge, whoever can get the fattest first. Kind of like the Sims, takes place over a long time., the fatter you get the more points you get.
CMcL: And you get to a point where you explode, and then you win.
MCBC: Or cleaning up the world, or fighting terrorists. Or, dodging icebergs in a submarine, a dodgy submarine.
CMcL: Yeah, they don't have any good submarine games any more. It's all stabbing and killing now, why can't you dodge an iceberg from time to time. Shoot your laundry out the torpedo shoots so they think you've died-
MCBC: Or, grow a grape vineyard inside the submarine, and shoot Merlot bottles up on the shore. The people on the beach, like having a date would go, oh look! But when they drop the depth charges on the submarine, and the water starts coming in, they all 'quick! We've got to seal this off! Can't let plants fester.' That's the only way you can water the plants, you have to engage in a battle with the Japanese PT boat.
R13: There's a new idea for EA Games, 'Grow your own Vineyard Inside a Submarine'.
MCBC: Exactly, it'd be called 'Greenhouse Submarine' or 'Submarine Vineyard'

R13: And a few more questions. What's been the best part of being the Aquabats?
MCBC: All the free hair products, probably. Like we got Vidal Sasoon, and all these people sending us shampoos. They love his hair so much, it fell out [points to Crash]. Nah, just saving the world, I mean that's the best. Like when are you going to say that you saved the world?
CMcL: Who else can say that? Robbie Williams?
MCBC: Nah, he just saved the money for himself and bought a castle - what a bloody bastard. But he actually lives in LA now, but that's OK we're gonna pilfer his house when we get back and his music. Like our return back to that earlier question?
CMcL: Full circle, full stop.
R13: Well there you go, some ideas for you - pilfer Robbie Williams' music-
MCBC: And David Beckham's.
R13: And his hair ideas.
MCBC: He does have some some pretty nice hair. You know, I'm hoping to enter a hair show soon, and go up against him. I'm kind of like the Rocky Balboa of hair styles, work my way up until it's meet and Apollo Creed in a hair battle. Or David Beckham, whichever one comes first.

R13: And finally, will you return to the UK
MCBC: Well you can't get better than that, so we're going to break up as soon as we get back. Nah, we hope we can but we also know the realities of our financial situation. But that doesn't matter because kids can always donate to the website right? Or by a t-shirt, one or the other.
CMcL: Or just donate.

R13: Well that's it for the questions that I've got.
MCBC: Man, I hope we didn't ruin ourselves.
R13: No, not at all.
MCBC: You sure?
R13: Of course.