Simple Plan-Shut Up!
Today I bring to you Montreal based "punk rock" outfit Simple Plan's first single to be taken from their new and 'outrageously' titled album "Still Not Getting Any".
Now, to be called "poster boys", I was under the impression that you actually had to be physically worthy of the adornment of a lusting teenage girl's wall, curious then that Simple Plan's record press peeps consider these guys to be of that said description...(ouch).
But anyway, onto what matters. I do not like Simple Plan. I do not like the sub-pop genre that they come from; I do not respect it nor consider it to have any form of credibility or substance.
But do I know a catchy tune when I hear one? You'd have to be deaf to answer that question with a no; surprisingly enough, hearing something likable does not require excessive training in rocket science or the like.
These kids from Cnada have here made themselves a very catchy and regrettably likable 'pop-punk-don't shout at me mum I'll tidy up my room in a minute' single. It lyrically portrays a strong and positive "you'll never stop me" vibe, which, hey, can't be a bad thing for the kids, but don’t think it'll change your world in any notable way. It will not bring forth a revolution, and will not have you in tears of sheer elated wonderment, but it'd be good for a bit of a solo head banging session before mummy calls you down for tea, and what's wrong with that?
The B-side; an acoustic version of "Welcome To My Life", contains the opening lyric "do you ever feel like breaking down, do you ever feel out of place, like somehow you just don't belong, like no-one understands you?"
Christ. Must I go on...? I must?
All right then, here we go: I don't like it. I don't like it because it is just whining, and not whining in a pretty, emotion provoking way. It is whining in a boring, pathetic "if I hear this self-pitying bollocks just one more time I think I may just shoot myself in the foot, write a pop song exclaiming just how sodding painful it is, and then send it, via a postal service which insists on using all packages as a urinal at some point during the journey, straight into the laps of Simple Plan. There.
How could they fix this? Change the lyrics. The music's ok, they can play their instruments, the vocalist can sing, (cue applause), etc etc.
There. Now if that's not constructive, I don't know what is.