Good Time Girls
From these shores, it sometimes seems as though half of Sweden is practicing their sneer and recording retro-loving rock 'n roll albums in their garages (with the other half chugging away in melodic thrash/death metal acts). "In Distortion We Trust," the debut LP from Swedish act Crucified Barbara, shows that they have what it takes to stand out from the pack. Of course, the fact that the band is composed of four very attractive women is going to guarantee them a certain amount of attention but even if they were four hairy, big dicked guys the score at the top of this review wouldn't be changing - they have the edge over their peers in so many ways.
While you can hear the usual suspects in Crucified Barbara's sound (Motorhead, Aerosmith, Guns 'N Roses) they also have a pounding heavy metal edge to their songwriting - some off the riffs enter thrash metal territory (check out the title track). You can also detect a fondness for classic '80s acts like Europe and Bon Jovi in the way that the band know how to create catchy melodies and big choruses which will batter you into submission and lodge in your head like a sniper's bullet.
The band are clearly skilled musicians and they play with real passion and energy. The rhythm section (Ida Evileye on bass; Nicki Wicked on drums) is capable of both heavy metal battery and monster grooves while Klara Force and Mia Coldheart's ragged guitars blaze over the top like a fire at Motorhead's CD pressing plant. Ms. Coldheart also has one of the most powerful rock 'n roll throats to emerge for years. Dripping with confidence and attitude, her gravely voice betrays every cigarette smoked and every shot downed in her life, yet still sounds sexy and feminine.
The production manages the balancing act of being gritty enough to keep the rock 'n roll atmosphere yet clear and powerful enough to kick your teeth in. At just less than 40 minutes in duration the album is the perfect length too; despite what most bands seem to think nowadays, filling all 70-odd minutes of a CD's run time with music does not fit well with the human attention span. "In Distortion We Trust" gives us eleven choice songs with no dip in quality and no room for filler.
Lyrically, the band tackle themes which may appear familiar to fans of the genre, but they approach them from a fresh angle and manage to avoid falling into clichés. Songs about what a stud the singer is, for example, are commonplace, but Crucified Barbara take this a step further and sing about their irresistibility to both the boys *and* the girls ('Hide 'Em All'). Tales of drunken debauchery are ten a penny, yet how many songs do you know about bizarrely triumphant instances of inebriated public incontinence ('I Wet Myself')? As might already be evident, the band also have a very appealing dry sense of humour.
From the album title to the band's cool stage names to the denim, Spandex and cowboy boots in the booklet photos, you just know you're going to have a good time with this LP - and you're not disappointed. "In Distortion We Trust" is perfect drinking music, and even ends with its own 'Bad Hangover'. I can't remember the last time I was this impressed by a debut album - check it out.