Are Goldie Lookin' Chain Safe As Fuck?
It's official, the world is a better place with Goldie Lookin' Chain in it and making music. Having toured the summer festivals taking their 'Goldie Lookin' Party' to a main stage near you, the welsh rappers have returned to your local record store with the follow up to the GLC 'Greatest Hits' debut album of last year.
There are no real surprises on this record, which in itself is no surprise at all. It is everything you'd expect, lyrics that are both clever and dumb at the same time, samples that will bring a smile to your face however humorless you are, and enough F words to make your parents wonder "what on earth has happened to pop music these days?"
The lead single 'Your Missus is a Nutter' is a stereotypical GLC classic, and has been accompanied by a game on the bands website where blokes can nominate their own girlfriend to have her nutter rating scored by other GLC fans. In terms of other potential hit material, 'Charmschool' is one of those, make you smile sample examples as it features the theme tune to Grange Hill and could be another massive Goldie Lookin' Chain anthem in future months with legs in the nostalgia market.
Elsewhere are tracks such as 'Hit Song' which, if Eric Pridz, Sunset Strippers and however many other crap dance acts you care to mention can make top ten smashes out of rehashing old eighties classics, then sure as hell GLC can rip the piss out of it. Then there's 'Sister' which closes the album and includes the lines "If you're gonna leave me now can I fuck your sister?". What a romantic lot they are.
For me though one of the funniest tracks on 'Safe as Fuck' is 'R'N'B'. This song gets right to the core of an issue that can be a real headache for blokes everywhere. Imagine it: there's a fit girl working in a local shoe shop, you make the effort to get to know her and find out she's date material and then to your horror…she likes R 'n' B! I'm sure you'll agree that's up at the top of the rethink list alongside finding out she claims to support Manchester United or Chelsea, without knowing any of the players names, going to matches or even watching them on TV, listening to games on the radio or bothering to skip past the celeb gossip sections of tabloid newspapers to check on scores and league tables. Like it or not, the great attraction of GLC is their parodies on life, however stupid they may seem and 'R 'N' B' is one that will strike a chord with many.
I could go on but to be honest the gags on this album are worth the effort in finding out for yourself. They might not be amazing musicians, you might think you can rap better than them, it certainly isn't the rocket science of the music world, but as a collection of tracks to entertain it does a fine job, and there are definitely worse albums about right now than 'Safe as Fuck'.