Dizzy New Heights?
From the Red Stripe-aping record sleeve, you'd expect The Heights to sound like Oasis c. 1996. They don't, which is something to their credit at least. Unfortunately, this stylistic choice leaves them open to far more criticism then I think they imagined when they signed off that design brief. Why?
1. "PREMIUM LAGER BEER". Translation: "Bland, gassy, chemical-ridden crap enjoyed by benefit fraudsters, students and civil servants".
2. "SERVE ICE COLD 484ML". Translation: "6 cans for £5 at your local Londis".
3. "ALC 4.7% VOL". Translation: "Perfect for lightweights, teenagers and girls who smoke Lambert & Butler Gold".
Doesn't bode well, does it?
From the opening drum fill and guitar intro, 'Jamaica Beer Eyes' is a breezy, melodic, pop-rock ramble - save the obligatory mid-section slowdown - wrapped around those single guitar licks so popular nowadays. Owain Ginsberg's raspy vocals may suit the material well enough but his nonchalant, cavalier style fails to convince, and I'm sure what is intended to be a rough-and-ready floor-stomping anthem instead turns out to be a rather damp squib indeed.
Furthermore, the protestation (from the band's bio) that he sounds like Lemmy is particularly laughable - as is the assertion that The Heights should be thought of in the same breath (as it were) as Led Zeppelin, Husker Du and The Replacements. I'm here to break that pretentious little bubble guys. Soul Asylum, Ocean Colour Scene and Shed Seven would be more accurate - though even those woefully inadequate bands managed to come up with at least one half-decent tune each - and I never thought I'd EVER write that in a review.
The Heights appear to be aiming for Artic Monkeys/Franz Ferdinand/Strokes territory with 'Jamaica Beer Eyes' and I'm sorry to say that they fail miserably. The tune is entirely forgettable; there's an absence of any palpable energy or chutzpah, and to cap it all off, it's arrived about three years too late. Maybe you should have stopped drinking all those cans and pulled your fingers out earlier fellas.
I was going to conclude this review by saying that this song would probably break into the Top 40, even though I thought that it really shouldn't. Then I realised it had already been released - so I checked. It hasn't - not even the Top 75. What possible reason could there be for this failure?
Well, top of my list is the fact that you'd need Jamaica Beer Ear-Muffs to enjoy it.