4

Stoney - The Scene and the Unseen

Oh to be talented and to be loved. With celebrity fans and supporters coming out of his ears and other such orifices, multi instrumentalist STONEY (no not Toadie's brother in Neighbours) has got it made. Having recorded 'The Scene and the Unseen' at his Sheffield home independently and largely single-handedly, he has to be applauded (for that at least). Always skeptical about these things I try to forget the praise dished out by some very respectable people (6 music DJ Marc Riley and uber-producer Rick Rubin to name but two) and approach it with a clear head.

Don't be fooled people. This is not the new Bowie. This is not the new Jamie T. He's not even the next Leo Sayer.

Single and album opener 'Jailbird', though backed with a wickedly cool drum beat and bass-line consists largely of an ever so slightly silly guitar riff and a jokey 'Ommm..' backing vocal that is neither big nor clever. This disappears into a sing-along chorus which is pleasant enough but nowhere near good enough, with the 'she shakes the cage' imagery worthy of a far better song. Next song 'Soap in a bathtub' is a bit of an improvement with it's unashamedly sixties pop sound mixing with an equally unashamedly one from the nineties. It's hit and miss. Stoney's faux Marc Bolan voice rescuing the song from being completely spoiled by the embarrasingly dated 'weird noises'.

There is something about the production is way too shiny and nice and this is not that far removed from capital radio drivel mongers such as Orson or The Feeling. The actual songs stripped bare are not bad at all but are in all honestly, ruined almost deliberately it seems in some places. As a result tracks like 'Until you leave' are best skipped while others like 'Morning After' have no redeeming features at all. Chock full of disgusting and indescribably annoying Craig David style garage clicks and stops over a sickeningly lite 'groove' , it is complete and utter shite.

'Best laid plans' braves a lack of this 'production protection' and reveals a Beatles song that George Harrison might have written, utilising a lovely mix of acoustic guitar and piano for something of a rubber ring for a sinking album.
Similarly, 'Holds the stars' draws on 1990's indie rock's obsession with the 60's again and makes a good Shed Seven tribute. Loud Britpop guitars and organ interspersed with quieter and melodic choral sections. Not bad. Getting better, but I still don't see the attraction.

Once again, Stoney lets off the reins and next track 'Ghosts' almost shuts me up completely with its intimate camp fire story telling over a beautifully simple guitar very reminiscent of the theme tune to (90's kids show) 'Spider'. "The curtain hasn't folded on us yet"...OK one more chance.

Oh dear. 'Bring your cup' is a filthy and sexy slow blues number in essence, with suitably innuendo heavy lyrics 'Bring your cup 'til it overflows..'. Potentially fantastic, it falls from grace in Stoney's hands into something of a damp squib. Castrating the drum sound from the Bonham heavy pots and pans it cries out for into clinically clean hip hop, Mr Stoney (first name Mark by the way) proves that he should have a Cartman style chip installed in his head that administers a large electric shock whenever he has one of his 'ideas'. As such the album becomes comical but in a 'laughing at you' way. The lyrics are also painfully embarrassing in places, ('Jake's tale of a pisshead in trouble is beyond terrible).

The remainder of the album is the sound of trendiness and ego meeting and our hero appears to be a mere caricature of the glorious things that he apparently recalls. 'Now's a good time', apart from a stupidly brilliant instrumental mid section, has got to be taking the piss. Ditto 'One of you', whose 'black books' percussion and strings are inexplicably scribbled over like a 3 year old. I struggle to say anything about final song 'Underdog' even though I quite like it for some reason. It's just not an iota as good as which ever song it completely rips off. "No-one sees me I'm the ghost within the fog" is unfortunately a bare faced lie.

'The Scene and the Unseen' grated with me on first listen. This only grows pace with every play. I cannot stand misguided praise, its one of my pet hates especially when the reciprocal is short-sighted shunning of far more talented people. Overrated in the extreme