Circle of Fakes...
Danzig have got it all... "Dark" sounding name, stupidly illegible album cover, and members with a history in music. All the perfect elements for an underground Norweigen black metal band. So I was slightly suprised when annoying pub-rock started playing. Infact, I was more than slightly suprised. I was physically disgusted. I wanted to hear crushing vocals, lightning fast guitars and drumming so fast my ears would explode. Instead I got some person who'd quite clearly just suffered some sort of blow to the head whining down a microphone, while someone else played a guitar which seemed to be plugged into a breeze block. [An open mind is a dangerous thing, eh? - Ed.]
As with all the CDs I get, I try to look for some positive points. Well, having looked for a long, long time, I have come to the conclusion that Dorian Cleavenger, who did the cover artwork for Danzig's Circle of Snakes, is a great artist. [Ed - I find the lack of metal quite pleasing, myself.] Apart from that, well...I got a free sticker with the CD. I'm going to rip it in half and jam it into my ears the next time I hear Danzig. [Ed - Yowza.]
"SkinCarver" sounds like something Mayhem would play while raw meat flew all over the place. Unfortunatly, it's actually what four small children might play after being in a multiple car pileup on the M1. Other songs that stand out on this album for their sheer lack of anything good are "When We Were Dead" and probably the epitaph of bad songs - "1000 Devils Reign". That song is by far the worst on the album, and that really is saying something. I mean, the lyrics are badly done, the guitars are even worse, and the drumming sounds like it was recorded just over three hundred miles away from the other members.
Now, if Room Thirteen was all about getting you to buy CDs (which it isn't!), I'd quickly make grace up by mentioning how good this band could be live, or maybe naming their back catalouge and saying this album is just a bad egg. Unfortunatly, Danzig's back catalouge is a whole chicken coup of rubbish. Steer well, well clear of Danzig. [Ed - And that was Mike once again proving that if it ain't metal... it ain't music.]