Templeton Pek - 'The Blueprint of Our Lives'
I feel like I've already written this review a half dozen times in the last month, but if Templeton Pek can't be bothered to think of any new ideas, I don't see why I should be under any pressure to be original.
Hailing from Birmingham, Templeton Pek are basically an emo band, although I get the feeling that they might dispute that in much the same way that the Sisters of Mercy insist that they're not goth. "The Blueprint of Our Lives" forms their first proper release, and is an EP of just under 25 minutes in duration. Thirty seconds into the first track proper you can picture them in your mind's eye: earnest young middle-class men with floppy fringes and tight black tee-shirts attacking their low-slung instruments with sweaty studiousness. A quick look at the photographs on their website was enough to prove my mental image wrong; their hair is more spiky than floppy as such. Even if, like me, you regard emo as Hell's elevator music, everything on this CD will sound instantly familiar to you. Every minor guitar chord, every 'soaringly melodic' chorus, every shuffling drum pattern, you will have heard a thousand times before simply by listening to a handful of the free CDs "Kerrang!" sometimes has stuck to its front cover. The band is competent at what it does, but the path it's taking is not so much well trodden as ground into the dirt.
As I write, "The X-Factor" is on TV in the background. It's an endless source of irritation to me that whenever one of the pathetic wannabes on the show opens their mouth to 'sing' they automatically assume a fake American accent. This transatlantic singing voice seemingly comes naturally and unconsciously to the British: from Land's End to John O'Groats, our vocalists sound like they come from sunny California, but would probably be surprised and bemused if you pointed this out to them. Templeton Pek front man Neal Mitchell is a prime offender. His voice is also way too high in the mix, although I do have to admit that he's a bit less fey and whiny than your usual emo muppet (but as my girlfriend said, he's whiny enough).
In the final analysis, I can't even muster the enthusiasm to hate this. It's just bland, wallpaper pop-rock music with less bite than a goldfish with gum disease. Apparently, "Kerrang!'s" radio station loves 'em. This probably tells you all that you need to know.