Wetter than a drowning fish pissing itself
The riff sounds like Hall & Oates... The synth slap bass, whhhap (and faux acoustic) guitars and programmed whoops and ftzzz's from the drums and percussion all force this effort into a drippy eighties vibe where fans would sway like mongs in front of the disco lights and look moody in the hope they pull another lobotomised wonder.
You can make sense as to where the supposed memorable choral lines are and what 'bob is trying to do, but any sort of attack on your senses is so blunt and stays at a considerable distance, worried that it could be the wrong thing to do. The closest that comes to a memory of the song is the two-note keyboard lead which, as it pretty much stays throughout, gets a trifle annoying.
This is Goldfrapp for Capital and Magic FM and is possibly the song that Atomic Kitten turned down at the end of their career. Pretentious. Wet. Wank.